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What are some funny and smart quotes?

Last Updated: 19.06.2025 03:11

What are some funny and smart quotes?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

Why do men prefer low-maintanence women?

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

What do you think of Hegseth calling The Atlantic journalist Jeffrey Goldberg, "a deceitful and highly discredited so-called journalist who has made a profession of peddling hoaxes” after team Trump texted him their top-secret war plans on Yemen?

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

A traveler infected with measles flew into Miami. What are the next steps? - Miami Herald

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.